Last Days in Israel

At the Western Wall in Jerusalem.

As the final night of the trip approaches, I reflect back on what this experience has meant to me. Today, one of the presenters, said, “When you are asked about this trip, you probably won’t be able to really describe it. You might say, ‘it was amazing or life-changing,” but it will be hard to sum up in just one sentence. Well, let me try it in one word…”transformational.”

  

I came on this trip to change my path and along the way I finally found out who I am for the first time in my life. The person G-d chose me to be. For those of you on the trip, you will understand when I say, “I believe I am a Chaim Tov.” Just knowing and accepting who I am for the first time has given me so much clarity and purpose. Knowing why I act the way I do and feel the way I do has opened up my mind and heart to the possibilities of what I could be. Until I figured out who I was, I couldn’t deal with the insecurities and doubt that had burdened me. Now, I understand why I made certain decisions in my life and what things I might do differently in the future. Through this program, I have learned how to tap into the spiritual guide (Torah) that is steering me towards my destiny. 

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I know I was supposed to be inspired by Israel…the place…but the truth is that I was really inspired by the incredible women that I met and connected with during the last 10 days. I learned so much about myself through them and their own personal journeys. My transformation came at their capable, loving, and supportive hands. I don’t know how to thank them for allowing me to be vulnerable and deal with the demons that have haunted me my whole life.

Of course, I have to thank G-d and the JWRP organization for giving me this gift and opportunity to renew my soul and strengthen my resolve. Armed with the tools that so many brilliant people afforded me during this enlightening trip and my new Hebrew name that was given to me on Masada, Liba Tikva (Heart and Hope), I am ready to face my three children and my life at home with an open heart that is ready to learn and live again.

I came to Israel with a broken soul, and I am leaving with a plan to repair and sustain it, surrounded by women who took the time to know me, love me, and cheer me on! Baruch Hashem.